


I'll Take Care of You

by Zabbie



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: 1959, Boarding School, Fluff, Gay, Getting Together, Love, M/M, So much fucking fluff, anderperry, based on that scene where neil says no, but also a lil spicy, but also love, gay boys, literary gays, not super graphic though, so fluffy it might burn you with how warm they are, soft, theyre horny teenagers okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabbie/pseuds/Zabbie
Summary: Todd insists he can take care of himself but Neil has other ideasJust a couple of guys being dudes.





	I'll Take Care of You

**Author's Note:**

> I blushed a lot while writing this I'm even blushing right now.
> 
> (Also while I checked over it I had no one to run it by so you're getting it pretty raw hope you guys like it anyway."

“I can take care of myself just fine.” Todd let those words leave his lips, well rehearsed words presented as convincingly as possible. With them came a sort of bitter contentment. Because that’s what Todd always had to do. Take care of himself. He saw it in his parents barely remembering he existed. In his reluctance to speak up. In his resistance in this very moment to Neil pushing him out of his comfort zone. He wasn't good in groups. He wasn’t good with others. Todd was always alone. He’d learned to be alone and he was fine with- 

 

“No.”

 

The word hung in the air between Neil and himself, snapping him out of his thoughts and causing him to look at Neil in an almost drunken bewilderment. He hadn’t expected that. He thought Neil would leave him alone… but Neil never left him alone. Why was that? 

 

Todd blinked. The radiator below the frosty window hummed. The tension in the room was thick. Stuffy. Or maybe the room itself just felt stuffy. Them in their too-warm scratchy sweaters. 

 

Todd’s voice cut the silence.

 

“What do you mean, ‘No’?”

 

Todd wasn’t sure if Neil’s slow and pensive smile eased or increased the tension in the room, just that it left Todd unable to breath. “No.” Neil said again. This time with a small shake of his head, his eyes dancing as if he wasn’t just saying it, but telling Todd a secret. 

 

Well that didn’t help Todd at all. And he still couldn’t breathe. He longed for Neil to do something- anything, even just… say more. Because how the fuck was Todd supposed to respond to such a blunt refusal?

 

And then Neil did do something. He tore through the stillness by grabbing the notebook out of Todd’s hand and Todd was suddenly chasing him and asking himself why he let Neil do this shit. 

 

“Neil!… NEIL! For God’s sake Neil stop!” But all Neil did was laugh and run, clutching the notebook tight and stumbling over furniture, every few moments Todd’s touch grazing a shoulder or hip and tickling Neil involuntarily. “No! No! NO!” Neil laughed freely and passionately. That word he wouldn’t let go of. That Todd had never had aimed at him before. “Neil Perry I will FUCKING end you give it BACK!” But even Todd was hiding a smile now, though he didn’t know why. 

 

Neil let out a barbaric “YAWP!” and continued to stumble, “There you go Anderson! That’s the strongest I’ve heard you speak all year!” And so proud was Neil of his own jab that he lost his balance and ended up tripping while jumping onto Todd’s bed. He bounced off his knees and regained a standing position but not before Todd caught him and struggled to get the notebook out of his hand.

 

They were both laughing now, breathing heavily, ticklish and determined. Todd was so caught up in the moment he couldn’t even think why the notebook was important. It was just a prize to be won. A point to be made.

A point like the tip of Neil’s nose that scrunched up when he laughed, wrinkling the freckled tapestry of his cheeks. Those flushed cheeks, filled with pink from the heat of the room and the kind of breathlessness that comes from laughing and running at the same time. That same pink on his lips that always hid a smirk somewhere behind them. Lips terribly chapped from how often he licked and chewed them in concentration. 

 

Todd hadn’t realized he’d been staring, or that he was now standing in the corner of his bed, caged in by walls and low ceiling and tall, flushed Neil with one arm on either side of him, still laughing but growing softer now as fatigue won over and he had to catch his breath. Todd felt the notebook against his chest, unsure when he’d managed to wrestle it away, he too, breathing heavily. And then they were back where they began. Neil licking his lips, Todd wondering why Neil bothered with him. Nowhere to look except each others eyes, because avoiding eye contact would be even more awkward than maintaining it. And again, the air so tense and their bodies so self aware that it felt like nothing could break it. Todd swallowed.

 

“Neil?” His voice cracked due to his dry throat.

 

“Yeah Anderson?” Neil responded, gentler than usual, relaxing his arms that pushed on the wall and looking off to the side. Looking away.

 

“Why…..why does it even matter to you?” 

 

Todd meant it. He wasn’t trying to corner Neil, he just genuinely didn’t understand. But in Neil’s eyes he only saw a sudden pain. As if Todd had just broken his heart.

 

“Why.. why do I..?” Neil shook his head, “Jesus, Todd….why do I..”

Neil shifted his weight, which was awkward since standing on a mattress wasn’t exactly stable. One arm still caging in Todd, another brought up to rub the back of his own neck as he searched for words.

 

He didn’t seem to find them, just found himself staring at Todd again, who was waiting. “I, uh….” Neil’s eyes were fluttering as if he were drifting to sleep. He spoke softer than Todd had ever heard him. Slowly, so slow that Todd almost didn’t notice it, Neil began to close the distance between them. The rough skin of his thumb traced Todd’s jaw, who sucked in a sharp breath. Neil seemed embarrassed by this, turning slightly more pink and biting his lip again, but it didn’t stop him. “I guess I…” He continued to say, those words floating in the air and then floating away, none taking root— none sticking. Todd was the one that was good with words, not Neil. Neil just knew how to recite. How to _act_. Neil felt sweat trickle down his neck and into the back of his shirt, leaving a cold trail down his spine. Todd looked at him expectantly, eyes darting back and forth like a rabbit about to run. 

 

Neil gathered his courage and continued to close in, not completely sure himself what he was doing. Neil’s eyes were almost closed at this point, as if in prayer, Todd could almost feel his eyelashes on his skin, and he felt the air on his breath as he said, also as if in prayer, “You’re just so…” But he never really finished that sentence because now those chapped lips were on Todd’s. Pressing shyly at first… only pushing against them, not moving. Waiting in reverence for Todd to respond, and to Todd’s own surprise, he did. 

“Nei-“ he began to say Neil’s name but it was lost in the space that no longer existed between them, although Todd is pretty sure he felt Neil mumble “shut up” against his mouth. And their mouths were moving, searching, Neil pinning Todd to the wall in a way that was still gentle but also contained a certain amount of force, because now Neil was a starved man come to dinner. Todd, though surprised, found himself responding to the touch, letting himself be pinned, while also trying to get as close to Neil as physically possible. He hadn’t even realized he’d been longing for this, and now Neil Perry, beautiful, talented, bullheaded, impulsive Neil Perry was kissing him and Todd never wanted him to stop. 

 

Kissing became more rough, hands wandered. Todd,shaking, rested his hands on Neil’s shoulders to steady himself, while Neil’s hands left the wall and found themselves reaching under Todd’s sweater. Though his arm’s no longer pinned Todd, he pushed his hips forward to keep Todd against the wall, causing Todd to emit a small gasp. Neil’s hands glided over Todd’s bare stomach and back as if he were committing the feel of them to memory. The notebook, once thought so important, had fallen and been forgotten somewhere amidst their light touches. Neil was peppering kisses blindly over Todd’s face, ranging from innocent to wet and sloppy. Todd squirmed and furrowed his eyebrows, feeling much more on fire than these languid kisses allowed for. “Mmmm you’re… warm..” Neil mumbled against Todd’s mouth, referring to the skin burning underneath his hands. 

Todd had looped his arms around Neil’s neck and now in frustration he pulled Neil even closer to him, smashing their mouths together and grinding his hips upward. Neil choked and stumbled a little but Todd kept him steady. “Warm..cause….of you…idiot..” Todd managed to say in-between wet and feverish kisses. Todd was never very sure of what he wanted. but he knew he wanted to devour Neil Perry. Todd felt Neil smirk. “What happened to that shyness of yours Mr. Anderson?” 

Todd chose to push him in mock anger, forgetting how entangled they were, their weight almost causing them to fall off the bed, thankfully shifting their weight in the fall to make sure they landed on the bed, Neil’s head at the foot of the bed, Todd on top of him. “Well then, Mr. Anderson, I had no idea you were such a dom.” He waggled his eyebrows, clearly making fun of him. Todd suddenly felt all his usual shyness and embarrassment flood back into him, his natural reaction to roll off of Neil and cover his face with his hands, pushing the palms of his hands into his cheeks hoping they'd make them less red, or at least make his heart stop hammering against his ribcage. He let out a groan and could feel the mattress move with Neil’s laughter. Still covering his face, Todd felt hands slowly guide his hips until He was flat on his back, and then felt weight slowly press down on his hips. He let his fingers part slightly in order to peer through them, catching a glimpse of Neil now straddling him. Neil Perry _straddling_ him was too much for him and he resolved to cover his face again and maybe just die. He felt Neil laugh again. Neil then leaned down and nuzzled Todd’s hands, then kissed his knuckles. “Hey… come on…” He nuzzled further into Todd’s neck and began kissing and biting softly along his neckline. Todd’s hands relaxed and slowly moved, one resting on his chest, the other above his head, his cheeks still bright red. Leaning back and seeing Todd beneath him, disheveled, caused Neil himself to turn red and his voice to sound a very unimpressive crack when he said, “f…fuck.” 

 

Todd averted his gaze shyly, but this just caused his gaze to rest on where their hips meant. More out of curiosity than anything else, Todd rolled his hips upward and against Neil’s. Neil shot a hand up to his mouth just as he let out a moan, but Todd had heard it. He looked at Neil in surprise and then rolled his hips again, causing Neil to lean over and bury himself in Todd’s shoulder stifling a groan and biting down. Todd yelped, “Hey!” 

 

Amuffled response: “payback” earning a huff from Todd.

 

“I like hearing you make noises,” Todd whispered into Neil’s hair, unsure if he’d heard him.

Neil suddenly ground their hips together roughly, causing Todd to let out a high pitched gasp. “You too.” Neil grinned. 

And then they were kissing again, though this time it felt different. Because they weren’t standing, they were laying, one on top of the other, on a messy mattress, in a boy’s boarding school with thin walls. Only that somehow just added to the electricity in the air, Todd’s sweater was pushed all the way up his chest and Neil clumsily strained to remove his own from his head, throwing it to the side with reckless abandon. Reckless abandon. That could describe a lot about what was taking place that afternoon. What had started it? Would it end? Neil just knew he wanted his skin to touch Todd’s, to somehow be even closer to him. They continued to share clumsy kisses, made up for in greed for them rather than skill, their skin feverish and hands clammy, hips now grinding together in a sort of rhythm, unsure of who exactly was giving who payback at this point, and whether that mattered. Small moans and gasps escaped their lips but were quickly swallowed up with pressing tongues. Their pace quickened, their breathing loud and labored.

 

This was not the doing of experienced and well practiced sex gods- just two boys shaking and reaching out in a room cast in shadows from a setting sun, their hair and skin cast in orange glow as they just wanted to feel what they were feeling in that moment. To seize that day. 

 

And then Neil grit his teeth and Todd gave out one of his high pitched gasps and they just lay there, gasping for breathe, saying nothing. Neil, after having collapsed onto Todd’s chest for a minute or so, rolling off of him and curling into his side. Todd found himself feeling cold without Neil’s presence, however sweaty they may be. He too, rolled on to his side and curled up, facing Neil and searching his eyes.

 

Neil, of course, was the first to speak. “Wow… we really are some fucking horny teenagers, huh?”

 

Todd’s brow furrowed, “What?” but Neil went on to explain.

 

“We just had to kiss and rub up on one another to get release.”

 

Todd let out a small laugh and looked up at the ceiling, holding Neil’s hand and softly moving his thumb over his knuckles. 

Neil just stared at Todd, his blonde hair looking like gold in the low evening light. 

 

“I want to take care of you.”

 

Todd turned to look at Neil again, confused.

 

“Before,” Neil continued, returning to that habit of chewing his lip, “You said you could take care of yourself.”

 

Todd didn’t respond. 

 

“You shouldn’t have to… and… I want to take care of you.”

Neil finished this sentence softly. Just that sweet. and just that simple, running his fingers through Todd’s hair and pushing the bangs out of his face before lowering his hand once again between them.

 

And then alone, but together, in silence almost holy in nature, Todd Anderson began to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah that's right Todd fucking weeps like a wittle gay baby because this my world bitch and Todd is SOFT
> 
> Also Neil calls Todd "Mr. Anderson" because he's a GOOFBALL and knows that Todd can't stand it mostly because it embarrasses Todd YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND
> 
> ANYWAY I hope you guys enjoyed it and any feedback is so so appreciated, additionally let me know if you'd like more anderperry be it following this timeline or other! Thank you so much carpe that diam bih


End file.
